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    January 17

    不名

          又是一个春节到,不过似乎不是我想要的。
          无数次在脑海中努力地试图寻找春节与高潮的某种联系,可总是一无所获。
          从初一到除夕,我们最喜欢把这高潮赋予每年的最后那段时间,而描述它的就是所谓的“气氛”。这一年,没有什么可以特别高兴的事情,当然也没有因为失去一些东西而如何如何沮丧,于我而言,每一天都只是一种重复,简单并麻木的重复。365天里,没有一个是特别的。不知道从什么时候起,不管是一年中哪一个重要得不得了的节庆,都已经无所谓。无所谓和谁,无所谓在哪,无所谓干什么。似乎有点可悲。
          金融危机下生活如此多“焦”。纵使以前作出一个决定有多么地简单,现在却已经让人丝毫不敢动弹。梦想离我越来越远。远的不是抵达彼岸的距离,而是不知彼岸到底在哪里。没有了梦想,一切便都可以随缘,脚踩西瓜皮,滑到哪是哪。
          *****
          没有记错的话,离开上海的10年间,每年都可以在外面赏雪,可是今年革命老区这座英雄城似乎很是不给面子。冥冥中,也许注定这里不是我的久留之地。这个春节,大概就是最好的时机,去踏踏雪,欣赏欣赏北国风光,重新拾起一种勇气,呼吸呼吸新鲜空气,倒也自在。

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